


Fake You Out

by MortalAmaranthine



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, High School, M/M, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-07-17 22:48:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7289179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MortalAmaranthine/pseuds/MortalAmaranthine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler and Josh have been best friends for what feels like forever, and Josh hides his real feelings for Tyler well. Their senior year of high school, everything comes to a head as Tyler starts dating Jenna, and Josh is designated to third wheel. The only thing is, Josh keeps catching Tyler staring at him, and he doesn't know what it could mean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. August

To put it plainly, Josh Dun was in love with Tyler Joseph. Tyler had been Josh’s best friend since they were 12, and Josh shared the last of the cafeteria’s french fries with Tyler after they ran out. Josh took one look at Tyler’s puppy-dog pout as he picked up the last basket of fries just before Tyler could, and it was all over. They had been inseparable ever since, and Josh Dun was hopelessly, head over heels in love with Tyler Joseph. 

All through middle and high school, Tyler played basketball and Josh played percussion in band. Josh went to every one of Tyler’s basketball games, and Tyler went to every one of Josh’s concerts. Josh was there for Tyler after his first break-up (“I was going to ask her to go to Homecoming with me! How could she agree to go with Chad fricking Meyers?”). Tyler was the first person Josh came out to, at age 15 (“I mean, I’ve never really been interested in girls. Girls are okay, but… I just like guys more.”). When Josh first started smoking weed at age 16, he was standing next to Tyler at an over-crowded party, and they both coughed so hard they nearly puked on their first try. They only gave up after the cops came to break up the party, and they had to make a mad dash through random suburban streets until they were both out of breath, trying hard to stay quiet as they hid in the bushes for what felt like hours. They eventually stumbled back to Josh’s place, giggling and stoned, and ended up passed out on top of each other on Josh’s bed. 

A year after that party, Tyler and Josh were set to start their senior year of high school in a few days, after spending a lazy summer playing video games, sleeping over at each other’s houses, shooting hoops in Tyler’s driveway, and messing around in Josh’s garage with his drum kit and Tyler’s ukulele.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“My mom won’t stop nagging me about college applications.” Tyler groaned, eyes glued to the racing game they were playing on Josh’s tv. They were set up in Josh’s room, comfy in their pajamas, empty chip bags and soda cans littering the floor. 

“Same with my mom. I know I want to go somewhere with a good music program, but I just haven’t narrowed it down yet. I mean, I have time. I don’t know what the big rush is.” Josh agreed. He passed Tyler’s car on the racetrack, and in retaliation Tyler reached over and slapped the controller out of Josh’s hands. “Hey! No fair, asshole!”

Tyler let out a cheer when he passed the finish line, Josh’s car left in the dust as he fumbled to pick up his controller. “I win!”

Josh huffed. “Only through cheating. You suck, Tyler.” 

Tyler stuck his tongue out at Josh. “Play you again.” He challenged, and Josh agreed, determined to win this time. 

When Josh glanced at the clock next, he was surprised at how late it had gotten. “Dude, it’s past 10. Do you need to go home?” 

Tyler shook his head. “Nah, I told my mom I was spending the night.” 

Josh grinned. “Okay, cool.” He replied. Tyler slept over at Josh’s place so much, they practically lived together. Tyler had an extra toothbrush in Josh’s bathroom, and at this point neither of them could tell whose clothes were whose. Tyler was constantly stealing from Josh’s closet, to the point where neither could remember who owned what.

“We have to be up early for senior orientation tomorrow.” Tyler declared as he stretched his arms up above his head and yawned widely. He got up off the bed and headed over to the light switch by the door.

Josh rolled his eyes. “Orientation isn’t until noon, and goes until five. We can sleep in!” He protested.

“I want to get there early so we’re not standing in line for three hours to get textbooks! Remember last year?” Tyler argued. He flipped off the light and started back towards the bed, stumbling slightly on Josh’s discarded shoes. The only light in the room was from the streetlight filtering in through the window, and Josh couldn’t make out Tyler’s face until he was standing right in front of him. 

Josh couldn’t hold out. Tyler’s stubborn pout always got to him. “Ugh, alright. We’ll get there early. Happy now?” He asked, scooting back towards the wall to give Tyler room.

“Yes, but you’ll be happy too when we get our textbooks without waiting in line.” Tyler said with a wide grin. He laid down next to Josh and pulled the covers up, letting out a contented sigh. 

Josh gave him a light shove. “Shut up and go to sleep, asshole.” He grouched, and Tyler laughed lightly. 

They chatted and bickered for a little while longer in hushed whispers about nothing in particular until they finally drifted off to sleep. Well, Tyler did. Josh stayed awake for a little while longer, staring up at the ceiling, listening to Tyler breath slowly next to him. 

For years, Josh had kept his feelings for Tyler hidden. He knew Tyler was straight, and that he didn’t have a chance. Despite all that, Josh still had a flicker of hope that one day, maybe, Tyler could feel the same way. Josh closed his eyes tight and prayed to God for Tyler to love him back. He knew it was selfish, and he felt really guilty, but he thought he could do a much better job than the string of girls Tyler had dated, all either leaving him for someone else or cheating on him. “God, if you give me the chance, I promise I’ll do my best to make Tyler happy. He’s a good guy. He deserves to be happy.”

When he opened his eyes, he was still in his bedroom, Tyler asleep beside him. No evidence of a miracle or any divine intervention. Josh turned over to face the wall and tried to sleep, hoping the sinking feeling in his stomach would soon pass. 

The next day, Tyler and Josh pulled up to the school at 11:30 am, having just finished a coffee run to Dunkin Donuts. It had taken Tyler half an hour just to pull Josh out of bed, but he finally did it with the promise of coffee and donuts. Tyler was a ball of jittery excitement, chattering on about his class schedule and lunch block and basketball season coming up, while Josh hunched over his coffee and tried to hide how adorable he thought Tyler was when he was excited. 

They were nearly first in line, behind just a handful of people, and by the time they opened the doors and let everyone in, the line behind them wrapped around the building. “See? What did I tell you?” Tyler crowed proudly. 

“You were right all along, oh all-knowing one.” Josh intoned, and Tyler smirked and pretended to try and knock Josh’s coffee out of his hands. “Cut it out!” Josh laughed, pulling his coffee cup back and out of reach. “What is with you? Are you just that mad I have opposable thumbs?” 

Tyler nodded. “Yes. I won’t stop until I’ve knocked everything you’ve ever loved out of your hands.” He said, starting out solemn and ending in a laugh.

Josh snickered, scuffing his shoes on the concrete as they all shuffled into the common area. “Okay, first we need our class schedules, then we can get our senior ID’s, and then textbooks.” Tyler announced, his hands on Josh’s shoulders as he steered him through the crowd. 

Josh let himself be steered, going where Tyler pushed him. He just liked having Tyler touch him, the heat from his hands bleeding through his thin tee-shirt to warm his shoulders. Like this, Tyler could hide behind Josh and let him do all the talking. Josh knew that Tyler was uncomfortable in crowds, so he didn’t protest. 

Tyler took his hands off Josh to accept his class schedule, but Josh didn’t have to miss his touch for long. Tyler was back to pushing him through the crowd, and it became a game, Tyler using Josh as a ram to push through everyone filling up the commons. “Excuse us! Sorry! Coming through!” Josh chirped, and Tyler couldn’t help but laugh at everyone’s surprised and startled faces. 

Finally, after getting their senior ID’s, Tyler and Josh stopped in front of the book room to get textbooks. The book room hadn’t opened quite yet, but they were the first in line. They huddled close together and compared class schedules. “We have calculus together.” Tyler said happily.

“I still can’t believe you convinced me to sign up for calculus.” Josh moaned. 

Tyler rolled his eyes. “If you have trouble, I’ll help you! Duh!” He said.

Late night study sessions with Tyler? Suddenly, calculus didn’t seem so bad. “We also have the same lunch block.” Josh pointed out.

“Yes!” Tyler cheered. “That means we can go off campus for lunch together! Finally, senior privileges!” 

“Okay, but we’re not going to Taco Bell every day.” Josh said firmly. 

Tyler’s face fell. “But Josh! You love Taco Bell!” 

Josh pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, Tyler. You love Taco Bell. I’m just there all the time because I’m always taking you.” That was a lie, Josh did love it, but Tyler didn’t need to know that. Teasing him was more fun than telling the truth. 

Tyler huffed and glanced down at his shoes, looking crestfallen. 

Josh tried to count to ten, but only made it to four. “Okay, fine, we can go to Taco Bell! But never two days in row, okay?” 

Tyler smiled brightly at him, and Josh thought it could make the sun jealous. “Okay, okay, fair enough.” He agreed. 

One of the volunteering teachers hurried over to the book room with the keys, and unlocked the door. “Alright, single file everyone! Have your class schedule ready!” She called out to all the kids queuing up. 

Tyler turned and handed his class schedule to Josh, and Josh stepped forward. “Hi! This is my class schedule, and this is my friend’s.” He said, gesturing to Tyler. In just a few minutes, they each had an arm full of textbooks, staggering back to Josh’s van in the student parking lot. 

Tyler set his books down on the ground and opened up the back passenger door so Josh could dump his textbooks on the seat. “I swear, that calculus textbook is like 500 pages.” Josh complained, letting Tyler drop his books in the backseat as well. He was rolling his shoulder, trying to work out the ache that had built up from hefting around his textbooks.

“I said I’d help you.” Tyler said, swatting Josh’s hand away and rubbing Josh’s shoulder himself. Josh went limp, letting Tyler work his magic. All his years of basketball had left him with a lot of experience on how to best get rid of muscle fatigue and joint pain. 

“Better?” Tyler asked, and Josh hummed. 

“Yeah, lots better. Thanks, man.” Josh said, turning to give Tyler a smile. 

Tyler smiled back, leaning against the side of the van. They were practically alone in the large parking lot, nearly all of the other students already inside the building. Tyler and Josh just looked at each other for a long moment, smiles fading into uncertain gazes. Josh hadn’t realized how close they were. For a brief moment, Josh thought about how he could push Tyler up against the side of the van and kiss him, right here in the student parking lot. Josh must be losing his mind. 

Tyler inhaled sharply, and Josh realized with a start that neither of them had been breathing. He took a quick step back, breaking his gaze away from Tyler’s. “Uh, we should probably head back.” He suggested, embarrassed. 

“Yeah.” Tyler agreed quickly. “My mom will want me home before too long.” 

Josh hastily made his way over to the driver’s side and hopped in, and Tyler got himself situated in the passenger seat. “Are we still on for practice tomorrow night?” Tyler asked suddenly.

Josh started the van. “Oh, yeah, of course! I’ve finally got down the drum piece I’m gonna do for auditions this year. I want you to hear it and tell me what you think.” He said, taking them out of the parking lot and back down the road towards Tyler’s house. 

Tyler smiled. “Okay, good. I can’t wait to hear it.” He said, his eagerness back. Josh was grateful. He wasn’t sure what that had been back there, but for a heart-stopping moment, he was sure he was actually going to kiss Tyler. That would have ruined everything. He could never mess up his and Tyler’s friendship like that. The sinking feeling in his stomach was back, but Josh tried to ignore it and pay attention to what Tyler was saying, something about all the places they could eat lunch at now that they could go off campus. Josh nodded along and said “Uh-huh” or “yeah” when Tyler paused, but he wasn’t really listening. 

Soon enough, Josh was pulling into Tyler’s driveway. They both got out, and Josh grabbed Tyler’s textbooks for him. Arms full, he followed Tyler up the walkway and inside. He could smell something delicious coming from the kitchen. “I’m home!” Tyler called, and Josh set Tyler’s textbooks on the front table by the stairs. 

Tyler’s mom stepped out of the living room. “Oh, hello!” She said with a smile. “How was orientation?” She asked.

“Great! We got our class schedules and textbooks!” Tyler replied, gesturing to the stack of books Josh had brought in for him. 

“That’s wonderful. Josh, will you be staying for lunch?” She asked him, and Josh quickly shook his head.

“I’d love to, but I can’t. My dad wants me to mow the lawn today.” He said. “Thank you, though.” 

“You’re very welcome, hon. Come around any time.” She said kindly. 

Josh said goodbye to Tyler, and quickly returned to his car. He sat in the Josephs’ driveway for a moment, trying to gather his wits, before backing out and heading back towards his own house. What had happened back there in the parking lot? He had been so overcome with the urge to kiss Tyler he shocked himself. Sure, he had a crush, but after so much time, it had taken a backseat to his and Tyler’s friendship. He was always Tyler’s friend first. He would never let his crush ruin their friendship. 

Senior year was about to start. Josh had band and college applications and whatever else to worry about. He pushed the event in the parking lot aside. As he pulled into his own driveway, he resolved to keep his feelings under wraps as best he could. 

The next day, Tyler went over to Josh’s house. It was late afternoon, and Josh was in the garage warming up on drums. Tyler slipped in a few minutes later, ukulele in one hand and battered notebook in the other. “Hey, Josh!” He said. 

Josh stopped drumming and glanced over. “Oh, hey Tyler.” He said. He tapped his drum sticks against the rim of his snare, absentminded. “What’s the notebook for?” 

Tyler smiled widely. “I think I finally finished the lyrics to go with that song we made last week.” He said proudly. 

Josh’s eyes widened. “Damn, really? I thought we were just screwing around.” He grinned widely. “I remember how it goes, though.”

“I knew you would.” Tyler said. “But first, play me your audition piece!” 

Josh twirled his sticks in each hand. He had decided to play something he wrote himself for his audition. He knew it was overkill, but he really wanted to impress the band teachers. If he did well, he would be one of the chosen few that played in the winter orchestra or at prom. 

Tyler pulled up his stool and sat himself in front of Josh’s drum kit. Josh took a deep breath and started to play. After months of practicing, Josh could play the whole piece from muscle memory at this point. He stayed focused, only glancing at Tyler to gauge his reaction. 

When Josh was done, he lowered his arms and looked at Tyler, biting into his lower lip. “What do you think?” He asked, suddenly nervous. If Tyler didn’t like it, he would have to learn a whole new song. 

“You’re going to blow everyone else out of the water.” Tyler said, smiling widely. Josh smiled as well, his worries dissipating with Tyler’s praise. “You’re gonna make everyone else look terrible.” 

Josh breathed a little bit easier. “Thanks, man.” He said gratefully. Tapping his drum sticks against his thighs, he asked, “So, did you want to finish that song?” 

Tyler’s eyes lit up. “Oh, yeah!’ He said. picking his notebook back up. “Look over these lyrics, tell me what you think.” 

Josh took the notebook from Tyler and flipped it open on the page Tyler had bookmarked. He read each line carefully, eyebrows raised. “I like it a lot, but it’s very… different. How are you gonna make it work?” Josh asked.

“I’ll play it for you, here.” Tyler picked up his ukulele, and Josh set the notebook aside to look at Tyler. Now it was Tyler’s turn to play for Josh.

Josh had heard Tyler sing a million times before, but he never got tired of Tyler’s voice. Tyler began to strum and sing, and Josh could only stare, enraptured. 

Tyler finished the song, and he and Josh stared at each other for a moment. “All this time I’ve known you, I never would have guessed you were a rapper.” 

They both burst out laughing, Tyler stood and reached over the drum kit to punch Josh lightly on the arm. “I think it sounds amazing.” Josh said sincerely, and Tyler looked down at his ukulele, strumming some random cords, but Josh could see his smile, the pink in his cheeks. There was nothing he loved more than to make Tyler smile. 

“So, are you ready for Monday?” Tyler asked, and Josh groaned. 

“Not at all. We’re gonna be overloaded with tests and homework before we know it.” He said with a sigh. 

Tyler scraped his shoe on the ground, now looking worried. “I’ve been kind of anxious, too.” He admitted. “It’s a lot of pressure.” 

Josh looked at Tyler’s concerned expression, and immediately wanted Tyler to smile again. “Hey, it won’t be so bad!” He said, trying to sound optimistic. “We’ll just be sure to make each other study!” 

“Okay.” Tyler agreed, perking up a bit. His smile returned, and Josh felt immensely better. 

“Let’s work on that song, yeah?” Josh asked, and Tyler quickly agreed. By the time they fell into bed that night, absolutely exhausted, they had it perfect.


	2. September

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know anything about band auditions or church, so please forgive any inaccuracies.

The first few weeks of school passed rather uneventfully. Tyler and Josh settled into their respective routines, sharing calculus and their lunch block. They went to Taco Bell more times than Josh would have liked, but he didn’t complain much. Tyler helped him when he got lost in calculus, letting Josh use his notes when they went over the homework. 

Tyler always met Josh at his locker after school to get a ride home, but today, he was unusually late. Josh checked the time; the last bell had rung 10 minutes ago. Most everyone had already filtered out, the hallways quieting down as all the students went home. 

It was another five minutes before Tyler showed, rounding the corner and coming down the hallway while talking to a girl with blond hair to her shoulders and a pretty smile. She said something Josh couldn’t make out, and Tyler threw his head back and laughed. Josh looked at the two of them with growing apprehension, the sinking feeling in his stomach returning full force. This didn’t bode well. 

Tyler and the pretty blond girl reached Josh’s locker, and Tyler introduced them. “Josh, this is Jenna. She’s in my 4th block English class. Jenna, this is Josh.” Tyler said amicably. Jenna smiled widely and reached out to shake Josh’s hand. “So you’re Josh! Tyler was just telling me about you!” 

Josh shook her hand, feeling uncertain. “Nice to meet you.” He said politely. 

Jenna returned the sentiment, then turned to Tyler and smiled apologetically. “I’m really sorry, but I have to head out. My mom is waiting for me in the car.” she explained. 

“Oh, okay!” Tyler replied. “I’ll see you later!” Josh could hear the question in his tone, the tentative hope. He felt a sudden, inexplicable dislike of Jenna. 

The feeling grew as Jenna answered Tyler with a bright and cheery, “Sure thing!” before continuing down the hallway towards the front, waving as she went. Josh turned back to look at Tyler, and the look in Tyler’s eyes as he watched her go made him feel sick. 

When Jenna was gone, Tyler glanced at Josh with a wide, foolish smile. “Isn’t she amazing?” He asked, a bit dazed. 

“Astounding.” Josh said, his voice tight. “Ready to go?” 

Tyler didn’t really answer, just nodded dumbly and followed Josh when he started down the hallway to the student parking lot. 

Josh was trying with all his might to stay calm, but he wasn’t doing very well. He knew the only reason Tyler was oblivious to his panic was because he was thinking about Jenna, and that only made him feel worse. He had asked God to let Tyler love him back, and instead, God just made everything worse. Well, worse for Josh. A wave of guilt crashed over him as they exited the building, and it nearly rooted Josh to the floor. He could clearly see how happy Tyler was, why was he so angry? He was being selfish again. If Jenna made Tyler happy, then he shouldn’t be so against it. 

The whole car ride home, Josh didn’t say a word. Tyler sang along to love songs on the radio, and if he noticed how tightly Josh was gripping the steering wheel, he didn’t comment. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” Tyler said brightly, before shutting the door and heading up the drive to his front door. 

“See you.” Josh muttered in reply, though he knew Tyler couldn’t hear him. He turned off the radio and drove home in silence, fighting tears. Tyler was happy. That’s all that mattered. 

The next day, Tyler was late meeting Josh again. It has been nearly 20 minutes, and Josh was seething. He briefly entertained the thought of just going home without Tyler, but that would make him a bad friend, and just the thought of doing something so mean made him feel guilty. 

Finally, Tyler came jogging down the hallway, breathless. “Sorry!” He said quickly. “I was making plans with Jenna for this Saturday- I got her number!” He said, smiling from ear to ear. 

“This Saturday?” Josh asked. “But I thought you were coming with me to my audition.” He said, something tight curling up in his chest. 

Tyler’s eyes went wide. “Oh, man, that is this Saturday!” He said. Josh was reeling. Had Tyler really forgotten? “Alright, uh, I can text Jenna and let her know. We’ll just reschedule for another time.” 

For a moment, Josh felt relieved, but then he felt guilty again.Tyler had looked so excited to hang out with Jenna outside of school. How could he be so selfish to deprive Tyler of that happiness? “It’s okay.” he said. “You should hang out with Jenna.” 

“Are you sure?” Tyler asked hesitantly, and Josh nodded. He felt like he had something stuck in his throat.Tyler clapped him on the shoulder. “Thanks man! Call me when get the part! We can celebrate on Sunday!” 

Josh forced a smile, and followed Tyler out to the student parking lot. He felt sick. He had been thinking about the audition for weeks, and in each scenario he imagined, Tyler had been there cheering for him. He was just going to have to go it alone. 

On Saturday, Josh followed his mom out to the car. The button-down shirt he was wearing felt awkward, but his mom had insisted he look nice. He climbed into the backseat next to his little brother, glad that at least his family was coming to support him. 

“Are we swinging by Tyler’s house or is he meeting you there?” Josh’s mom asked, and Josh felt that tightness in his chest again. 

“Tyler, uh… Tyler’s busy today.” Josh muttered, not meeting his mom’s eye in the rear view mirror.

Josh’s mom tsked. “I’m sorry, honey.” she said softly. She seemed to know how upset Josh was about it. “Don’t worry about it right now, just focus on doing well. We can celebrate with Tyler later.” She said, and Josh gave a small smile. After months of enduring hearing Josh practice in the garage, she knew he would do well. Her confidence made him feel a little better, at least. 

At the school, auditions were being held in the auditorium. The percussion instruments were still getting set up, including the drum set. Josh wished he could have brought his own, but moving the set would be a pain, especially for a three minute audition. However, Josh did have his drumsticks in his lucky case. He turned it over in his hand as he sat next to his brother, trying not to let his nerves get to him.

Before he knew it, Josh’s name was called and he climbed up to the stage. He had a few minutes to adjust the drum kit the way he preferred. “I’ll be auditioning with an original piece.” Josh announced, glad his voice was steady. The judges, consisting of the band teacher, the orchestra teacher, and head of the music department muttered a bit, but then fell silent to watch Josh play. 

Josh took a deep breath, twirling a drumstick and rolling his shoulders. The judges, audience, and Tyler all disappeared from his mind. It was just him and the drums. Josh played, and he played well. 

When he was finished, Josh focused on the present again. He could hear his mom clapping and his dad cheering. Josh grinned, and waved. They were embarrassing him, but it was okay. He knew he had done his best. 

The judges were nodding, making notes on their clipboards. The band teacher, whom Josh knew well, smiled and gave Josh a thumbs up, so that was a good sign. Josh returned to his seat next to his brother, and prepared to watch the next kid audition. He wasn’t too worried. 

After the auditions, Josh and the the other percussion kids milled around beside the rest of the band kids in the hallway, chatting and joking around. He struck up a conversation with a few other drummers, talking about their favorite drum lines to cover and the latest songs that had come out over the summer. 

Finally, the head of the music department came out with the list, and posted it on the wall. Everyone crowded around, trying to get a look. Some kids cheered, others cursed and turned away. Josh tried to get to the front without being too rude, but his heart was pounding. Now that it had been decided, his nerves had returned full force. What if he shouldn’t have done an original song? What he if hadn’t made the cut? 

‘Winter Formal… P. Stump?’ Josh bit his lip. So had hadn’t made the list for Winter Formal, so what? ‘Prom… J. Dun.’ That was him! Josh had made the list to play prom! He whooped, pumping his fist in the air. The crowd had started to dissipate, so Josh found his way back to his family. “I made the cut for prom!” He announced, and his mom smiled widely.

“Oh, I knew you would, honey!” She said, ruffling his hair. 

“Good job, Josh.” His dad said proudly, and Josh couldn’t stop smiling.

“This will look so good on your college applications!” Josh’s mom announced. “Any music program in Ohio would be lucky to have my little drummer boy!” 

“Mom!” Josh groaned, and his brother laughed. Despite his mom’s embarrassing gushing, he was incredibly pleased. As they made their way back to the car, Josh pulled out his phone to text Tyler. 

For a moment, he hesitated. Was Tyler with Jenna right now? He must be. Was he her house? Josh wasn’t smiling anymore. After a moment, Josh slipped his phone back into his pocket. He didn’t want to bother him if he was busy with Jenna. He could tell Tyler later. 

The rest of the day, Josh couldn’t stop thinking about what Tyler might be doing with Jenna. Were they studying? Did they go out and get dinner? Were they on a date? 

It wasn’t until Josh brushed his teeth and climbed into bed that his phone beeped, a message from Tyler appearing on the screen. Josh unlocked his phone and and read: ‘Ty: How’d it go dude?’.

Josh fiddled his thumbs over the screen for a second, before typing back: ‘I made the cut for prom’. 

Tyler’s reply came just a few seconds later. ‘Ty: That’s awesome bro! Tomorrow we celebrate!! Winter formal is for chumps anyway’, and Josh was smiling again. 

He bid Tyler goodnight, and plugged his phone in before rolling over and closing his eyes. He felt a little better. Tyler was sure to spend the whole day with him tomorrow, just the two of them. 

The next day, Sunday, Josh’s mom woke him up bright and early. “Get dressed!” She said, poking her head into Josh’s room. “Breakfast in 15 minutes, then we’re leaving! I will not let you make me late for church again, young man!” She said, her voice stern but her smile giving her away. Josh groaned and rolled over, pulling his pillow over his head. It’s not that he didn’t like church, he just wondered why his family couldn’t go to an afternoon service instead. 

Grumbling, Josh finally climbed out of bed and drearily pulled on his church pants and found a decent shirt. He entertained the idea of going downstairs with his lip ring in, just to see what his mom would say, but he knew she would just scold him and make him take it out. 

At the church, Josh waited anxiously in the lobby. He spent a few minutes peering around the milling crowd, before he finally spotted Tyler and waved. Tyler caught his eye and loped over, grinning widely. 

“Josh! I’m glad to see you, man! I knew you would get the gig for prom!” Tyler said. He wrapped his arms around Josh and pulled him in for a brief hug, smacking him on the back a few times. Josh made sure to appreciate having Tyler pressed against him, then remembered he was in church and made himself stop. Tyler pulled away, and Josh’s grin matched his. 

“Thanks, dude. It means a lot.” Josh said. “What are you doing after the service?” He asked. 

Tyler bit his lip, thinking for a moment. ‘You’re in church, you’re in church.’ Josh kept reminding himself.

“Uh, I think my mom wants us to have lunch, but after that I’m free all afternoon!” Tyler said. Not a moment later, the doors opened and everyone started filing into the chapel. “I'll text you after.” Josh said quickly, and Tyler nodded. Josh followed his parents into a pew and tried his best to listen to the preacher and not think about Tyler biting his bottom lip. 

After the service, Josh went home, ate lunch, cleaned his room, and texted Tyler to invite him over. He felt nervous, and he couldn’t sit still. He kept thinking about what Tyler and Jenna had been doing yesterday, and how he could make today more fun. Josh couldn’t explain why, but he had to make sure Tyler still liked hanging out with him more. 

Finally, the doorbell rang. “I got it!” Josh called, pounding down the stairs and throwing the front door open. Tyler stood on his doorstep, in still in his Sunday clothes. “Hey!” Tyler said cheerily, and all of Josh’s worries dissipated. 

Josh stood to the side and let Tyler come in. “Mom, Tyler’s here!” Josh called, before leading Tyler up to his room. 

Immediately, Tyler kicked off his shoes and settled in on Josh’s bed. “Sorry I didn’t change, I came straight over after I ate.” He said.

Josh shrugged. “I don’t care.” He said. “I was thinking we could hang out up here for a bit, and then you can stay for dinner if you want.” Josh suggested. Tyler had stayed for dinner many Sunday’s before. He was practically family anyway.

Josh went over to the TV to set up his console and pick a game. When he was finished, he turned back to Tyler, and was very surprised to see him shirtless, and in the process of kicking off his slacks. Josh’s brain nearly short-circuited, and he couldn’t tear his gaze away.

Tyler caught him looking, and laughed. “Oh, sorry dude! I should have warned you! I just had to get out of those clothes. Mind if I borrow a something?” 

Josh managed to mumble out a “Yeah, sure.” before he turned back around and tried to remember how to breath. He really hoped Tyler didn’t notice that he was half-hard, but he had changed out of his church pants, so he should be okay.

He turned the TV and the console on, and got himself situated on the bed, one knee carefully propped up. Tyler joined him a few moments later, in a plain white shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. 

“I think those might actually be yours.” Josh said, tugging on the fabric of the shorts Tyler was wearing. 

Tyler laughed. “I know they are, they’re just a little bit too tight on you.” He said, and Josh tried not to think too hard about what that might mean. 

He passed Tyler a controller, and they spent the afternoon playing video games. In the moment, Josh was elated. He didn’t think about Jenna, or Tyler missing his audition. He just focused on the now, the feeling of Tyler leaning against him as they cheered and laughed. it was almost like nothing had changed, so Josh stayed quiet. He could handle this, for now.


	3. October

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very very sorry this chapter is late and also short. My work schedule has been weird and Pokemon Go came out so...

Josh was so looking forward to Halloween. He had been planning his and Tyler’s costumes for months. Tyler thought Josh went a little overboard, but humored him nonetheless. This year, Josh had the perfect costumes for the two of them. He had a Scooby Doo costume for himself, and a Shaggy costume for Tyler. When he had showed Tyler the costumes online, Tyler had busted out laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. Josh was so pleased. He couldn’t wait for Halloween. 

It was a week before Halloween when the costumes arrived in the mail, and Josh invited Tyler over to try them on and make sure they fit okay. Josh was just laying the two costumes out on his bed when Tyler walked in. “Hey, Tyler!” Josh said, turning with a smile. However, his smile fell when he saw Tyler’s forlorn expression. “What’s wrong?” Josh asked.

Tyler didn’t meet Josh’s eye. He stared down at his shoes, shuffling his feet nervously. “I… uh…” he muttered. “I can’t be Shaggy for Halloween.” He said. 

Josh’s brow creased in confusion. “What? Why not?” He asked.

There was a long moment of uncomfortable silence. Tyler’s face was red, and he still wouldn’t meet Josh’s gaze. He was chewing on his lip nervously. “It’s just… Jenna invited me to a party and she wants us to do a couples costume, so…” he said finally, wringing his hands. 

“You’re ditching the Halloween plans we’ve had for months so you can go to some jock party with some girl you’re not even dating?” Josh asked, disbelieving. 

Tyler finally glanced up, a flash of anger in his eyes. “Jenna isn’t just ‘some girl’! I really like her!” He said, his mouth now set in a frown. 

“That doesn’t mean you can just bail on me!” Josh said, his voice rising. “I’m you’re best friend!” 

Tyler’s voice rose. “I already said I would go with her, I can’t back out now!” 

“You said you would hang out with me on Halloween way before you said you would hang out with her!” Josh yelled. “I can’t believe you’d be such a shitty friend, bailing on me for some girl!” 

Tyler reached out and shoved Josh, hard. Josh stumbled back, catching himself on the bed. Then, he was pushing off, coming chest-to-chest with Tyler. “First you’re gonna ditch me, now you’re gonna fight me? Any more ways you wanna fuck up our friendship today?” Josh said angrily from between gritted teeth.

He and Tyler stared each other down for a long moment. Josh could feel something in his chest seizing up. This was it. This was Tyler choosing Jenna over him. Now he knew Tyler would never like him back. Not after this. He felt like crying, but he balled his hands into fists and chose to be angry instead.  
`  
Tyler was the one to step away first. “I don’t have time for this.” He muttered, turning to leave. Tyler slammed the front door behind him. 

The house was silent for a long moment, before Josh’s mom poked her head into Josh’s room. “I heard you two yelling.” She said, concern evident in her voice. “Why are you and Tyler fighting? You two never fight.” 

Josh sighed and slumped his shoulders. “Tyler’s ditching me on Halloween for some girl he met a month ago.” he muttered. 

“Oh, honey.” Josh’s mom said sympathetically. She came over and pulled Josh into a hug. Josh laid his head on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her. He felt a little better, but not much. “You and Tyler have been through so much together, sweetie. One girl can’t take that away.” She said, running a hand down his back soothingly. “You and Tyler will make up in no time, I’m sure of it.” 

Josh closed his eyes and just let himself be held. He was trying his hardest not to cry. “Thanks, mom.” He said with a sniff. 

Josh’s mom pulled away and held him at arm’s length. “How about we get Chinese take-out for dinner tonight, hm? Your favorite.” She said, patting his cheek. 

A small smile spread across Josh’s lips. “Yeah, okay.” He said. 

“There’s that smile.” Josh’s mom said happily. “I’ll go ask what everyone else wants, and make the call, okay? You just relax.” She bustled off down to the kitchen, and Josh turned back to his bed. His smile fell when he saw the two costumes still laid out. 

Anger returning, Josh took the two costumes, balled them up, and threw them into the back of his closet. Fuck Tyler. He would have fun on Halloween without him. He would get high and watch scary movies. He didn’t need Tyler around to have fun. 

Josh laid down on his bed and closed his eyes. He thought about what couples costume Jenna and Tyler were going to wear. He thought about what skimpy costume Jenna would wear. He thought about how much Tyler would like it. 

Josh pulled a pillow over his head to block out the world and tried to think of nothing at all. 

A week went by. Josh couldn’t remember ever having gone that long without talking to Tyler. It was agonizing. Far too many times, he would turn to tell Tyler something funny, then remember with a sickening jolt that he wasn’t there. He would pull out his phone to text Tyler an interesting thought, and halfway through the message, Josh would remember and delete the message with his heart in his throat. 

The day of Halloween, Josh was at a loss. He didn’t want to go out, so he asked his mom if he could help hand out candy. His mom gave him a sympathetic look, and said, “Of course, honey.” Josh appreciated her kindness, but he only felt worse. 

He couldn’t stand it anymore. At school the next day, before class, Josh went up to Tyler’s locker. Tyler was there, with Jenna as usual. There was an awkward moment of silence as the three of them looked at each other, before Jenna cleared her throat and murmured, “I’ll see you at lunch, babe.” Before kissing Tyler on the cheek and heading off. Josh watched her go, envy and anger tying his stomach into knots. 

Then, Josh turned to Tyler. “Can we talk?” He asked, voice meek. 

Tyler looked at Josh for a long moment. “Okay.” He agreed. He dropped his backpack into his locker and shut it. “Let’s go outside.” 

The two made their way through the crowded corridors before finding a side door and stepping outside. They were on the west side of the building, the morning sun casting them in shadow.. They sat under the awning, inconspicuous and mostly out of sight. 

“I wanted to say I’m sorry.” Josh said, before he could lose his nerve. Tyler glanced at him, surprised. 

“You’re apologizing? Why?” Tyler asked.

Josh picked at a hole in the knee of his jeans. “I shouldn’t have gotten mad just because you wanted to spend time with Jenna. I know how much she means to you.” Josh felt like there was a weight sitting on his chest to say these words, but his friendship with Tyler hung in the balance. He would rather be Tyler’s friend than nothing at all. 

Tyler shook his head. “Josh, I’m the one who should apologize!” He insisted. Josh looked at him with wide eyes. “You were right. I promised you we would spend Halloween together, but I blew you off. I’m sorry.” Tyler said, leaning into Josh’s shoulder. 

Josh couldn’t help but smile. “I guess we were both a couple of dumbasses, huh?” He asked, and he and Tyler both laughed. 

“Friends?” Tyler asked, holding out his fist. 

“Forever.” Josh promised, bumping Tyler’s fist with his own.


	4. November

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for descriptions of drug use in this chapter!   
> Whoa I'm still here! Sorry it's been like two months since the last chapter! Here's my list of excuses: 1) my laptop had to be sent away for repairs for like a month 2) I was working 60 hour weeks 3) college started back up. But hey here's an extra long chapter to (hopefully) make up for it! I'm gonna do my best to get back on my weekly update schedule, but thank you so much to everyone who stuck with me! <3

Josh finished shoving all his papers and textbooks into his backpack and slammed his locker shut. “Do you want to sleep over tonight?” He asked. It had been two weeks since their fight, but things had mostly gone back to normal. 

Tyler perked up from where had had been leaning against the lockers and smiled. “Yeah, sure! We can work on our calculus review.” He suggested.

Josh frowned. “Or… we could get high and play video games.” He suggested.

“Okay, calculus review, then we get high and play video games.” Tyler said, still grinning like a fool.

“Deal.” Josh said. He stuck his hand out, and Tyler laughed. They shook on it. 

They continued to talk and laugh as they walked to Josh’s car, parked in the back of the student parking lot. As they drove home, Tyler sang along with the mixtape he had made for Josh to say sorry. Josh really liked Tyler’s voice, but he knew Tyler was shy when it came to his singing. 

They set themselves up at the kitchen table with snacks and drinks to work on their calculus review. 

“What the hell is x to the power of one half?” Josh grouched, tapping his pencil on the table. “I’m pretty sure that’s not even possible. Miss Cook is just making stuff up to screw with us.” 

Tyler scooched his chair in closer to Josh’s and peered down at his paper. “No, see, x to the power of one half is the same as the square root of x, see?” Tyler said, marking on Josh’s paper. “So, here you figure out that x is equal to 64, so the square root of 64 is…?” He trailed off.

Josh paused. “Eight.” he answered, and Tyler smiled brightly. 

“That’s right!” and Josh felt a flutter in his chest. He had made Tyler smile like that. That wasn’t something many people could say. 

‘Jenna can probably make him smile like that.’ A traitorous voice in the back of Josh’s head whispered, but Josh ignored it. Tyler had been his best friend long before Jenna showed up. That meant something, right?

After an hour more of calculus, Josh declared himself finished. They had gotten through most of the review, so Tyler relented and they headed upstairs to Josh’s room. Josh’s parents were out having dinner, so they were free to smoke in Josh’s room. They just had to exhale out Josh’s open window so the smell wouldn’t remain. 

Josh pulled his stash out from under his desk drawer, and looked closely. “I still have about half a gram left. I’ll have to get more before the end of the month.”

“It’s more than enough for now.” Tyler said, and Josh agreed.

“Do you want to use my new pipe?” Josh asked, excited, and Tyler’s eyes went wide. 

“Dude, yeah! You haven’t shown it to me yet!” Tyler said. 

Josh rummaged around in his bedside drawer for a minute before finding the small glass pipe and holding it aloft. “Aha! It was way in the back so my parents wouldn’t find it” He explains. “No more shitty joints for us!” He settled onto the bed next to Tyler, and opened up the window. 

Josh showed Tyler how to pack a bowl and how to hold the pipe and light it. “Here, put your thumb over the carb and inhale as you light it. You’ll see the smoke build up. When you want to take the hit, take your thumb off the carb and inhale.” Josh explained. 

Tyler did as Josh instructed, held the smoke in his lungs for a few seconds, then tilted his head up and exhaled slowly out the window. They watched the smoke drift up and disperse into the darkening sky. 

“My turn.” Josh declared, and Tyler handed over the pipe. Josh took his hit, mimicking Tyler in holding in the smoke and exhaling slow. He glanced at Tyler and smiled, ready to ask how he liked the new pipe, and he saw Tyler’s eyes flicker back up suddenly. Josh realized with a start that Tyler had been staring at his lips. 

If they were a little more stoned, Josh could understand Tyler just zoning out, but they had just taken their first hit. Josh looked at Tyler, his smile faltering. He was suddenly nervous, the fluttering in his chest back full force. Tyler looked back at him, his cheeks pinker than usual. 

The moment stretched on, and Josh couldn’t stand it any longer. He cleared his throat and glanced away. “So, how do you like the pipe?” He asked jovially, if a little forced. 

“I like it a lot!” Tyler said quickly. He held out his hand, and Josh obediently relinquished the pipe. Tyler took another hit, and Josh slid off the bed and walked over to the TV. “I don’t really feel like video games. How about a movie?” He asked. 

Tyler suggested a horror movie,, and Josh had to agree. He rummaged through his shelf, trying to find the DVD. He finally found it at the bottom, and loaded it into the DVD player before joining Tyler back on the bed.

The movie started and Josh zoned out a little bit. He had already seen this movie way too many times, so he didn’t feel too bad. It was about half an hour into the movie that Tyler suddenly pressed up against him, his head resting on Josh’s shoulder. He seemed relaxed, eyes on the TV screen, but Josh couldn’t breath. Josh honestly didn’t know what to do in this situation. Should he say something? Ignore it? He knew Tyler was straight as a ruler, so why would he be doing this?

Whatever the case, Josh didn’t want to ruin his buzz or crack the eggshells he and Tyler had been walking on lately. Their fight had been awful, and Josh wasn’t eager to start a new one. He forced himself to pay attention to the movie, telling himself that he was imagining things and that Tyler liked Jenna. Not that that made him feel any better. 

They continued to pass the pipe back and forth until the bowl was done. Josh carefully cleaned his pipe out and put it back in his drawer, but by this point he was pretty stoned. He and Tyler laughed along with Shaun of the Dead, leaning close to each other, and it was like nothing had changed at all. Lately Josh had been feeling so uncertain when it came to Tyler. Things used to be so simple. Josh was in love with Tyler, and Tyler didn’t know. Why did it feel like that dynamic was changing? 

After the movie, Tyler was curled up under the comforter, eyes closed. Josh smiled down at him fondly. He got up and turned off the TV, then gently shook Tyler awake. “Hey. You fell asleep before you took off your jeans. Come on, man. You’ll thank me later.” Josh said quietly.

Tyler grumbled into the pillow, clearly irritated at being woken up, but obediently kicked off his jeans. He rolled over, and Josh knew he was asleep again instantly. Josh just shook his head, changed into his sweatpants, and curled up next to Tyler. He closed his eyes and, still a bit high, found sleep easily. 

He awoke several hours later with a start. He realized Tyler was shaking, making low noises under his breath. He knew Tyler was having a nightmare, he had seen him like this enough times. “Tyler, hey. Wake up, Tyler. It’s just a dream, come on. Wake up.” Josh said urgently, shaking Tyler with a bit more force than before. 

Tyler awoke with a gasp, jolting straight up. He took several deep, panicked breaths, hands scrambling at his throat. Josh kept his arm wrapped around Tyler’s back, grounding him. “It’s okay, man. It was just a dream. You’re here with me, you’re safe.” Josh murmured sleepily. 

“Shit.” Tyler whispered, breath evening out. “It was that dream again. The one where there’s another me, and he has red eyes, and he’s strangling me.” he said, reaching up to touch his throat gingerly, as if he could still feel fingers wrapped tight around his throat. 

“Red Eyes Black Dragon?” Josh murmured, an old joke he had come up with years ago, when this dream of Tyler’s first started. 

Tyler huffed out a laugh despite himself. “Shut the fuck up, dude.” 

“I cast a spell card. Black hole. All monsters on the field destroyed. Go back to sleep. You’re okay.” Josh murmured, and Tyler sighed and laid back down.

There were a few moments of silence, before Tyler whispered, “What if I don’t make the varsity basketball team, Josh? What if I totally fuck up my tryout, or everyone else is better than me?” He asked. His hands were shaking, and Josh reached out and held Tyler’s hands in his own, if only to make him stop. 

“Dude, you’re the best fucking basketball player in the district. No one stands a chance when you’re out there on the court. You’re gonna blow everyone else out of the water. No doubt about it.” Josh murmured

Josh could hear the smile in Tyler’s voice when he whispered, “Thanks, Josh.” and Josh smiled as well. Tyler stopped shaking, and Josh threw his arm over Tyler, keeping him close. 

In moments, Josh was asleep again. Tyler listened to his breath for a few moments, matching his breathing with Josh’s. Then, he drifted back off to sleep as well, feeling safe.


	5. December

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for this chapter: drug use and masturbation  
> I've been legitimately anxious about posting this chapter, and somehow 7 months have passed. I was super worried about how explicit it was, but I've cut it down to something more acceptable (I hope).

December 1st was Tyler’s birthday. Josh was drumming his open palms against his legs, waiting as Tyler rummaged through his locker, looking for his physics book. Josh heard some commotion and glanced down the hallway, wondering if it was another fight. However, all he saw was Jenna, on her way over with a box of cupcakes and a mylar balloon with “Happy Birthday” written across it. “Happy Birthday!” she sang, and Tyler’s face lit up. 

“Oh my gosh, you didn’t have to-” Tyler started, but Jenna cut him off. 

“No, no, don’t even! Your 18th birthday is too special!” She leaned in, and Josh glanced away just in time to miss Tyler and Jenna kissing. It was a common occurrence, but each time still made him feel like there was something caught in his throat. 

“Thank you.” Tyler said reverently. He tied the balloon to the strap of his backpack, and opened up the box of cupcakes to pick one. Of course, everyone in a 10 foot radius was suddenly Tyler’s best friend, vying for a free cupcake. 

However, Tyler turned to Josh. “Chocolate or vanilla?” Tyler asked Josh, and for a brief moment when their eyes met, Josh almost felt like there was no one around at all. 

“Chocolate.” Josh answered easily, and Tyler grinned and held out the box for Josh to choose.

“I know you always want chocolate. I like that, cause it leaves more vanilla for me.” Tyler said, and Josh felt just a little bit better. 

The warning bell rang, and Tyler turned back to Jenna. “I’ll see you at lunch?” He asked, and Jenna smiled. 

“Of course!” She said. She kissed him again, and suddenly Josh wasn’t feeling much better after all. 

After school, Josh headed home, With winter break just a few weeks away, he was absolutely swamped with homework in preparation for his midterms. Josh was halfway through his physics review when Tyler stormed up to Josh’s room unannounced, his bad mood nearly manifesting in a dark cloud over his head. Tyler collapsed face down on Josh’s bed with a huff, and didn’t move.

After a moment of silence, Josh reached over and poked Tyler’s leg. “You okay?” He asked tentatively, and Tyler groaned before rolling over and staring at the ceiling. 

“Jenna and I got into a fight.” Tyler said sadly. Josh stayed quiet, mentally warring between being sad for his best friend and being shamefully pleased. “She won’t shut up about the stupid winter dance, and I don’t even want to go! I finally told her and she got, like, personally offended. What do I care about a stupid dance?” 

Josh cleared his throat. “I’m sorry.” He supplied. “Uh... “ he glanced over at his review, debating, and decided ‘fuck it’. “Do you wanna get high and watch TV?” He asked. 

Tyler sat up, and Josh’s heart flipped at the small smile on his face. “That sounds amazing.” he sighed, sounding relieved. “You always know how to cheer me up.” 

Josh beamed, and shut his bedroom door before digging his pipe out of his bedside drawer. “We just have to be quiet so my mom doesn’t come knocking.” He said, and Tyler nodded. 

Josh packed the bowl and let Tyler have the first hit while he flipped through channels. They bickered for a bit over what to watch, but finally settled on old cartoon reruns. They passed the pipe back and forth, until the bowl was ash. Josh leaned over and left it on his nightstand, vowing to clean it out later. 

He settled back against the bed, and futilely tried to focus on the TV. However, he couldn’t seem to pull is attention away from Tyler; his breathing, the heat bleeding through his thin tee-shirt where he leaned against Josh, his laugh at the show’s jokes. Josh had to fight the urge to reach out and hold his hand, or tilt his chin up and kiss him. It was agonizing. 

Tyler was leaning against Josh, and ended up resting his head on Josh’s shoulder. “How high are you, dude?” Josh laughed, and Tyler giggled. 

“Way high.” He said happily, snuggling in close to Josh, and Josh thought he might stop breathing. Tyler was practically cuddling with him! Tyler laughed at the show, and Josh thought he might be in heaven. He closed his eyes and sent a silent thank you to God for this. 

They watched the rest of the show, and at the next commercial break, Tyler sat up and stretched his arms up high, yawning widely. Josh tried to ignore the peek of Tyler’s stomach where his shirt rode up. “Can I crash here?” Tyler asked, and Josh nodded. 

They brushed their teeth and changed, and Tyler crawled into bed while Josh turned off the light. “You can use my shower tomorrow if you want.” Josh murmured, laying down next to Tyler. 

Tyler hummed, already mostly asleep. Josh sighed and closed his eyes, happy after his evening spent with Tyler. However, his eyes flew open when Tyler rolled over and snuggled close to him, throwing an arm over Josh’s waist. 

Josh didn’t move an inch, listening to Tyler’s slow, even breathing. He was already asleep. Tyler was cuddling with him in his sleep. Daring to press his luck, Josh wrapped his arm around Tyler, getting comfortable. Tyler made a soft, contented sound, and for a moment Josh froze, terrified he would wake. 

But he didn’t. Tyler slept on, and Josh closed his eyes and sent up a silent, grateful prayer. This was the stuff of Josh’s dreams. 

Josh thought this might be the best night of his life. Tyler has his forehead pressed against Josh’s chest, his hair tickling Josh’s chin. His legs were tangled with Josh’s legs, and they both fell asleep feeling comfortable and safe. 

The next morning, as the sun was filtering in through the blinds, Josh blinked awake. It took him a second it remember Tyler was here, and Josh took a peaceful moment to watch him breathe peacefully. 

However, the moment ended as Josh realized he was achingly hard, having been pressed against Tyler all night. And, well, he was a teenager. ‘Why did I expect anything different?’ Josh thought grouchily. He carefully untangled himself from Tyler, not daring to breath when he muttered his displeasure and rolled over to face the wall. 

As quickly as he could, Josh hobbled over to the door, checked to make sure the hallway was clear, and slipped into the bathroom. It only took him a second to start up the shower and shed his boxers and tee-shirt. 

The hot shower was a welcome relief. Josh wasted no time bracing himself against the tiled wall and wrapping a hand around himself. He bit his lip, trying to keep quiet. He didn’t last long, coming with a muffled moan, his forehead pressed against the cool tile. He stood there for a moment and just let himself breathe, eyes closed. 

He always felt a bit guilty, masturbating to the thought of his best friend, but the guilt wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been a few years ago. Josh finished his shower, turned off the water, and wrapped a towel around his waist before heading back to his room. 

When he stepped inside, he saw Tyler propped up on his elbows, still blinking blearily in the morning light. “What time is it?” He asked, voice still rough from sleep. 

“Around 7, I think. No rush.” Josh assured. “The shower’s free if you want to use it.” He turned and started rifling through his dresser drawer for some clean boxers, towel settling low on his hips.

Tyler didn’t reply, and when Josh glanced over, he saw that Tyler was openly staring at him. Josh’s heart leapt. Was Tyler just spaced out? Josh leaned his shoulder against the dresser and pushed a hand through his wet hair, slicking it back. Tyler’s eyes followed the movement, and Josh saw him slowly trail his eyes down as a cascade of water rolled down his chest. Tyler was staring at him, and Josh could clearly see his pupils blown wide. 

Josh cleared his throat, and Tyler blinked and glanced away. “Y-yeah. I’ll… yeah.” Tyler stuttered, but he didn’t get up until Josh had turned his back and started going through his closet. He heard the door click shut as Tyler left, and Josh let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

What the hell had just happened? Josh knew what the look on Tyler’s face had meant, clearly, but what about Jenna? What about Tyler being straight? Josh felt like the rug had just been pulled out from under him. 

Josh got dressed quickly, and went downstairs to make himself breakfast. He sat at the table and ate his cereal on autopilot, lost in thought. He didn’t snap out of it until Tyler appeared, and he poured himself a bowl before sitting across from Josh. He was dressed in Josh’s band shirt from camp last year and a pair of Josh’s jeans. They were slightly baggy on his thinner frame, and Josh felt a swell of possessiveness. He hoped Jenna noticed Tyler wearing his shirt. 

“How far have you gotten on your physics review?” Josh asked, and Tyler glanced up at him as though startled. 

“I… uh, about halfway.” Tyler said, clearly flustered. Josh looked at him quizzically, and Tyler wouldn’t meet his gaze. He was tapping his fingers nervously against the table. 

“You okay, dude?” Josh asked. 

Tyler nodded. “Yeah, just…” he sighed, seeming to deflate a little bit. “I’m gonna have to talk to Jenna eventually.” He swirled his spoon around in his cereal bowl, looking lackadaisical. 

Josh shrugged. “Well, if you want to have lunch with me today, and put it off a little longer, that’s okay.” He said. Part of him didn’t want Tyler and Jenna to make up, and the other part of him felt awful for it. 

“I’ll have to talk to her eventually.” Tyler muttered, nearly pouting. “I just don’t see why the winter dance is such a big deal anyway. I might as well save my money for prom.” 

Josh grinned. “Screw the dance. Just come hang out with me.” He said. 

Tyler smiled, ducking his head. “I’d like that.” He said, and after a moment, finished his cereal. 

"Oh! Josh said suddenly, jumping up from the table. "Before I forget..." He ran back upstairs, and quickly returned with a package, hastily wrapped. "Happy birthday." He said softly. 

Tyler's face lit up, just like it had the day before. Josh felt his chest tighten, and he couldn't help but match Tyler's smile. Tyler took the poorly wrapped present from Josh. "Thank you." He said. 

"Well, open it!" Josh said, and Tyler grinned widely as he ripped off the wrapping paper. He lifted the lid and gasped when he saw his brand new basketball shoes. "Oh, dude!" Tyler said loudly, grinning from ear to ear. "I've been wanting this pair for months!" He put the box on the table and jumped up, wrapping Josh in a tight hug. 

Josh wrapped his arms around Tyler in return.:'Thank you.' he thought, absolutely blissful. 

Tyler, after maybe a moment or two more than should be expected, released Josh. He looked like he was about to say something else in his exuberant state, but his expression suddenly changed. He looked stricken.

"Dude, tell me you didn't buy these yourself. They cost like $250!" He said. 

Josh felt a pang- he had indeed emptied out all his savings from previous birthdays and Christmases. "Don't even worry about it." He said quickly. "Help me study for my calculus midterm and we'll call it even."

Tyler still looked a bit uncertain, but didn't want to appear ungrateful. "I would have done that anyway." He said, his smile returning.

They drove to school and sang along to the latest pop hits on the radio and Josh pretended not to notice when Tyler was staring. He wasn’t sure what it meant quite yet, but he certainly wasn’t going to call Tyler out and make him stop. 

Maybe, just maybe, he was making headway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if having Josh and Tyler smoke makes anyone uncomfortable, but hey, that's what teenagers do, right? I mean, I didn't when I was a teenager, but... whatever. I got the headcannon from thescrewtapedemos and her fic here: works/3908749 I highly recommend it.

**Author's Note:**

> I will try to update every Friday but sometimes my schedule gets weird.


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